Felt like being in between of everything hmmm

I thought I already promised myself not to say I miss you or I love you if you never say it haha I think I'm just making myself saddd haha what theeee~

I just feel like crying I don't know why also :s haha. Hearts a bit weird. Just thinking. I'm scared. Very scared. To jump back into this relationship if you're like that. I really feel I'm the one hanging on and you just happily I don't know thinking chriss only throw away get another haha..

You said you want to talk to me okay fine then you know I waited for you. Then after class everything back to like I don't even exist haha. Like the day before maybe I should have slept since I know what's gonna happen haha not that I don't want to talk to you its just so that I won't make myself sad haha

Just keep thinking why change so much sighh. I'm just trying you know to talk to you and spend time and yeah..

I'm just scared if this is what I'm gonna expect then I can't take it.. Are you playing with me or what? :'(. Just gonna shut my system hopefully tmr it will be better.. Help me lord..

Haizzz fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck haizzz. Why must everything change so much why? Why? Haizzz why lord why? Why everything change so much? Haizz fuck is it me? Who don't want to change or what? Is it me that who don't want to accept change or what? Haizz fuck fuck. Do you not care about me anymore? About my feelings? Haizzz do you? Haizzz why not you care about me? Haizz what's this? What? Haizz fuck

Hmm feeling badddd. Very bad. Feeling jealous haizzz oh well I'm messed up I suck haiz. But nvm haiz. Just feel very bad and jealous to the max sighhhh. Why? Haizz

Just thinking. Thinking a lot of things... Good or bad? Right or wrong? Yes or no? You and I hahaha hmmmmmm

Why is this happening?
Thinking staring at the ceiling
Where are we now?
Top middle bottom?
We are drfiting apart
It really breaks my ‎​♥̨
You tell me nothing now
Why is that happening?
We should be closer
But we're getting further
Here I am chasing you
There you are running away
Here I am trying to get closer
There you are drfiting away
Why are we like this?
I really don't understand
I say I love you
Will you say it back?
I say I miss you
Will you say it back?
I doubt so..
It really hurts my ‎​♥̨
Where have you been?
Where's the you I know?
What is this now?
Everything will be better?
How would you know?
From the way I see now
It will get worst
I get treated this way
It will continue forever
You will get used to it
You don't know how much I miss you
I miss you so much
I cried everyday to sleep
You may not care about me or us
I care so very much like you will never know
Siggh siggh sigghh
Pain pain pain
I just wanna say I love you so much
Will you say it back?
The worst part is saying I love you
And you don't get it in return
Where are we now?
What are we now?
Why is this happening?
What do you want fro

Feel like shit..
That's all
Back to being insignificant and again thrown like garbage:)
My life is awesome people :D
Sighh where can I find the strength one more month..

 24 more days :D my planned US flight. Hopefully it can be faster but i think that is a pretty appropriate timing. I just cant wait to fly to the US. I have no idea whether i can go singapore first or not. I hope i can cos i want to get some stuff there and i want to see my bros again, Afiq and Ryan. But if i cant i will be able to see them in december i hope. Maybe they can come to indo during my sister's wedding :D that will be awesome. 

I just cant wait to go to US now and see my soul mate , Kaylie <3. I just miss her a lot and i cant wait to see her :D XD ahhhhh hehe. Hopefully this month will pass by quickly. And i also dont know whether i will go to US alone or not. But from the looks of it i will go there alone haha. Wow so many things to handle meself haha. But i think i can do it. You have to learn to be responsible :D. 

The house is still in renovation. The new aircon has been installed in my room already :D yayy awesome yooo. Its still 2 weeks before we move in into the new house. Wheee my room man haha. I just hope we can quickly settle down in the new house and go to US after that :D

"Jet Lag"

What time is it where you are?
I miss you more than anything
Back at home you feel so far
Waitin for the phone to ring
It's gettin lonely livin upside down
I don't even wanna be in this town
Tryin to figure out the time zones makin me crazy

You say good morning
When it's midnight
Going out of my head
Alone in this bed
I wake up to your sunset
It's drivin me mad
I miss you so bad
and my heart heart heart is so jetlagged

What time is it where you are?
5 more days and I'll be home
I keep your picture in my car
I hate the thought of you alone

I've been keepin busy all time
Just to try to keep you off my mind
Tryin to figure out the time zones makin me crazy
I miss you so bad
I wanna share your horizon
and see the same sunrising
Turn the hour hand back to when you were holding me.

Hello it's been a looooooong time since i blogged man haha. WOWWW just wanna see how things are haha. Life have been hard so far but we all always have to go through this yeah and we all will get through this. I will never lose hope and i will keep fighting. I will fight :)

What cha wanna be - when you grow up
What cha gonna do - when your time is up
What cha gonna say - when things go wrong
What cha wanna do - when you're on your own

There's a road - long and winding
The lights are blindin' - but it gets there
Don't give up - don't look back
There's a silver linin' - it's out there somewhere
Everybody wants an answer - everybody needs a friend
We all need a shinin' star on which we can depend
N' so tonight we're gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before - (to find what you're
looking for)
There'll be times - in your life
Ya when you' be dancin' n' shit - but you ain't gettin it
But don't get disillusioned - no, don't expect too much
Cuz if what you have is all you can get - just keep on
tryin' - it just ain't happened yet
Everybody wants ta be winner - everybody has a dream
We all need a shinin' star when things ain't what they seem
So tonight we're gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before - (gotta get where you're
headed for)

Everybody wants some kindness - everybody needs a break
We all need a shinin' star when things get hard to take
So tonight we're gonna wish upon a star
We never wished upon before

"Empty"

Tried to take a picture
Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much
I want to fill this new frame
But its empty

Tried to write a letter
In ink
Its been getting better
I think
I got a piece of paper
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I've even wondered
If we
Should be getting under
These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

Oh oh
Oh oh
Oooooh
Oh oh
Oh oh

Maybe we're trying
Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts
We're empty

We're empty
We're em